Love/Hate Relationship

I'm beginning to wonder if the blog has taken over my mind. Sad? Yes. I had heard rumors that this may happen, but no one warned me of the health risks related to blogging. My thoughts are suddenly consumed with catchy post titles, topics, and the need to take a picture of everything I do. Not just a need...a compulsion.  I've read about this in text books. When I am jogging, the blog creativity runs wild and I want to turn around and run home and quickly jot down my ideas before they escape me. When I'm going somewhere, I am envisioning how I can write about the experience and what pictures to take. Example: this weekend, Melissa and I rode the scooter to the farmer's market. The whole time I was there, I was taking pictures. At some stands, I only saw the foods through the camera lens. I should have worn a sign that said, "I'm not here for your vegetables, just for my next blog post." This is not normal, people.

It's kind of a love/hate relationship: I'm obsessed, yet resentful. And some of you might be thinking, "but you're only averaging 1 post a week!" True, my friends, but there are thousands of posts going through my mind throughout the day. I get overwhelmed and figure its better not to post than for it to be only half-funny, half-deep, or half-interesting. The blog version of analysis paralysis. And then there is this overwhelming sense of relief after I hit "publish." It's close to the same feeling I get when I finish writing a paper, finish a big project at work, or do something really productive around the house. I feel like I've actually done something with my day...but no, I've just blogged.

Obviously I'm being somewhat facetious, but I am sure other bloggers can attest to these symptoms. Maybe I'll put myself on a 30 minute daily time limit or something. Kidding.

But in all honesty, I have been thinking about my post content. You have seen the funny side, heard my weekend details, and seen some awesome photos of me circa 1992. But what you haven't seen is the deeper side. There is more to me than scooters, believe it or not. And who really cares about the peppers and squash I saw this weekend? Yes, I do want to share my photography, but I don't want to obsess over blog entries. I would rather share with you guys what I've been learning about God, about counseling, or about life. And instead of feeling like I have to have a firm grasp on what I'm learning before I present it to the world wide web, I will hash it here and try to understand things as they come.

And in case you ARE one of those people who enjoys pictures of peppers....my efforts were not in vain.